I thought by this age, I would get my life together. Have a successful career, already gotten married(lol tk habis habis don't worry im not even thinking about it now), travel the world bla bla bla. You know all those things you dream to achieve by a certain age. However, I feel lost than ever. Pursing a diploma that I don't even think I would make a living out of it. Sometimes, you feel that you've hit rock bottom but sometimes you try to comfort yourself that your problems are smaller than others. Friends of my age have graduated long ago and are now working, some are also married. But I tell always tell myself every time, that everything is going to be okay. You are supposed to feel lost in your twenties. This is a phase in your life that you are suppose to explore. You might lose interest in the things you love, and it feels like you are going back to square one.

I wish I could have make smarter decisions. Until this day, I can't stop blaming myself for my past decisions and the decisions I made now. GET YOURSELF TOGETHER, SYIQIN!!

Overthinking isn't good either on the other hand. What's the point of complaining? What's the point of constantly worrying and ask why this and why that? Well, I have read somewhere that it isn't good to have these kind of thoughts in the first place. I know it is only human nature to feel this way but if you keep complaining and complaining, you are a disconcerted kind of person who is unappreciative. Sometimes, you need that extra kick to get on your feet back and keep hustling. Thanks, Beyonce.

So, you might ask wtf am I going to do now after expressing my concerns just now(jgn perasan Syiqin tkde orang tanya, im going to tell you anyways........):

• Put an end to things that is not right. Keh-mon ah, I think I am matured enough to think what's right and wrong(??) Amend things.
• Be more discipline. Okay tk tipu, I lacked of discipline. Sometimes, semangat seminit. I am not motivated enough, went too fast then suddenly stagnant gitu. Sheesh
• Make a timeline. If I planned to do something, I ensure there's a dead line for it now. So I won't halfway give up on stuffs so easily.

So that's all I can think of now.

.....................oh and takmu nak hilangkan barang je ughh.

Okay, belanja one gambar with the cutie nephew. HUEHUEHUEHUEHUE!!!

Ask.fm/qxnsllh

May Peace Be Upon You. :)

Since I am awake, why not I share about my hijab journey. Some might not know but I have been donning the hijab for 3 years now. I still remembered the exact day actually, 27 July 2014. I am very grateful and blessed. I still remembered how I went telling my friends that I will only wear it when I am 30++ or when I have my first child. But who would have knew, I've worn it earlier. Alhamdullilah. We all have a past, I am pretty sure. As I always consistently trying to be a better person, that was a first step. Which was to cover up.

I remembered wearing quite revealing and body hugging clothes. I used to love wearing crop tops, paired with jeans and sneakers. I love those baby doll dresses and high waisted shorts. Any piece of clothing which could see my figure. I used to wear something over those revealing clothes and once I went out of the house. I removed them at the staircase landing. Lol, I find it pretty absurd and funny on how much effort I had put in to do that every time I leave the house. It was damn tiring I swear. My parents are very strict. I was a rebellious kid. My mum would holler at me every single time I wore something above my knees etc.

It was difficult at first, to be clad in a headscarf every time you go out. I was not used to it. I always had the urge to buy all those clothing. It was a battle for me.  But of course, I look back at my ultimate purpose of wearing it. It had me going. I was more watchful of my words. I truly believe that I made more good decisions. I saw the beauty of all these strong women donning this beautiful garment. I loved myself more and I always find myself being a better person, and getting closer to God. I'm no saint. I'm not perfect. I feel the need to improve myself. In my twenties, sometimes I do feel lost but you always have to a close relationship to God. We get carried away too much, sometimes.

Even at 23(yup old alr diam ehhh), I still make mistakes. But what's important is that not only you have the niat to improve. Also make the effort to achieve it. Jangan berbual kosong.